Saturday, September 4, 2010

HE ASKED FOR A 13 BUT THEY DREW A 31

This week some guy named Kovalchuk (or some guy named his agent) finally got their Paul-McCartney-esque contract demands met. He's staying with the Devils for like, the rest of his life, and still nothing in the actual game itself changes, and still I don't care. No, this week I'm relishing in a double goalie mask FAIL.



To be fair, Dan Ellis is my favorite hockey player on Twitter. His darling tweets about how much he loves his family never fail to draw an "aww" out of this stone face, and his opinions on the league and the game are honest, candid and legitimate. I sheepishly admit to not really hearing of Dan Ellis before Twitter, which goes to show naysayers like myself that this stupid Twitter thing may actually be helpful in spreading the Good Word of the game (maybe). But Dan Ellis made himself really popular/unpopular (remains to be seen) with a weird crowd when he unknowingly chose a World of Warcraft figure for his TB Lightning mask art, prompting some to wonder, not about the theme, but if Dan Ellis is, off the ice, a WoW fan. Ellis could have played it off like 'It's a level 60 Grand Marshall PVP set, yeah I'm that good, you should see me in the pipes, mother fucker'. But Dan Ellis wouldn't say that, because Dan Ellis is an honest man (because Dan Ellis is not a 20-something stoner with a dirty mouth and off-color sense of humor). Instead he humbly admits via Twitter:


I had no idea that it was a WoW figure. I google image searched Thor and that came up. Thor god of Thunder and Zeus god of sky/thunder/light

But if my WoW mask makes you happy...rock on! 


Dan Ellis managed to make himself look like a total nerd, while making himself look like a total non-nerd by being totally clueless about the nerdiness of it all. Rock on back, Dan. But still, Google Image FAIL. Consider yourself pwned.

Good thing for Ellis and feline-hoarding-hockey fans everywhere, Yahoo!'s Puck Daddy blog uncovered the latest comic gem to come out of Russia, only a couple days later. 

Look here, meow
This little guy belongs to Vasiliy Koshechkin of the KHL, who either has an amazing sense of humor, or is playing off a mistake like Dan Ellis didn't. Slap on some cloudy  blue skies, throw on a fluffy white kitten (the detail they put into the fur), some Kid Pixx font... pretty straightforward artistic direction if you ask me. Apparently it was originally supposed to be a tomcat (Koshechkin's nickname is "Cat") but it ended up looking like a kitten (it's cool, mask artist, I wouldn't know what to do with the word "tomcat" either, maybe he wanted a portrait of Tom Jones, which considering the outcome, wouldn't have been outside the realm of possibility). Being the man of ironic humor that he might be, Vasiliy Koshechkin rocked the adorable head piece anyway, he even named the kitten on the side and claimed that the little fella is "very bored from being on the side of his head all the time". At which point I'm wondering if I enjoy this because it is classic goaltender eccentricity or because it reminds me of a  mushroom trip I once had. I don't know how good of a player Vasiliy Koshechkin is, but if he isn't getting much pipe time, he can always claim that the kitten on his helmet is bored from being on the bench all the time. Even the guy in the kitty mask doesn't like to be door bitch.

  
Peace + love, hockey fans

(photos- 25Stanley.com, Puck Daddy on Yahoo!)

5 comments:

  1. Re: the kitty helmet--I guess he could claim that the helmet belongs to his little sister. Or he could have whatever Russian mobster owns him break the artist's kneecaps for him.

    But here are a couple of points: First, it takes a man who is very secure in his masculinity to wear something like that . Not sure I'd want to mess with him, to be honest. Second, imagine a forward on a breakaway suddenly getting weak knees from the uncontrollable laughter....

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  2. Love the blog my friend!

    And Dan Ellis is a beaut. I wish he was the head of NHLPA. Nuff said.

    You don't have to be Chad Ochocinco, breaking Twitter with stupid news about your fines, etc. Sometimes, the people that we've never really heard about are the most interesting people in the world when you get to know them. Hockey players are like that. And it's cool.

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  3. Thanks dudes! Good point about the kitten mask, I was thinking, what if there was a reverse Avery/Brodeur situation where the goaltender actively distracts the skater? I mean, why not? Psych-outs should be allowed.

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  4. http://cdn0.sbnation.com/fan_shot_images/139258/4909149917_c29588da1c_z.jpg

    http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4101/4909150189_a7e71104a7_z.jpg

    Antero Niittymaki is going to scare some lonely M-FER big time. It would be super cool if it was towards a Duck.......Getzlaf anyone?

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  5. Loving the new blog, Lauren.

    They should have psych-out assisted shoot outs. Basically, Baseketball on ice if it's tied after OT. Just as valuable in determining a true winner in my opinion.

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