The New York Islanders: From Dynasty to Disaster

(Photo courtesy of CBC Canada)

Puckinvibes and Drop Gloves Not Bombs are teaming up for some quick hits on the latest news around the NHL. We are 20 games into the season and will be covering some of the biggest stories so far. Our first topic is the desolate state of the New York Islanders.

@pucktacular

They don't call them the New York Islanders for nothin', folks. It’s an organization that's been on an Island of its own for countless years, and for countless eye opening reasons. If Alexei Yashin and Rick Dipietro can get mega, Taco Bell mega big box type deals, then a Hockey fan sitting on his tush writing blogs about players skating on a sheet of ice can get that type of deal. Oh how quickly a franchise could go from a four-peat of Stanley Cups where guys like Bossy and Trottier were so bossy and brotted all over the opposition to being the inept organization that is being bossed around and trotted all over while playing in a barn that's in complete, utter shambles. The Islanders trigger finger for 15 year deals is worse than someone's outrageous sweet tooth for chocolate. Garth Snow stripping a blogger's locker room credentials, in the midst of an ugly losing streak (Losing streak count: 13, baby.), makes the fault of the team's super-sized rut fall on the blogger, himself. The Islanders must think that stripping a blogger's locker room credentials will make waves in a positive way, like the Ice Girls stripping and wearing outrageously skimpy outfits to appeal the bulging eyes of the male species. Not that this doesn't either, but I digress.
At this point, the Fishsticks may be the most giving charity I've ever seen. You want a big time player or two points from the Isles? They will give it to you so graciously that the definition of graciously will need to be re-worked in the English Dictionary.

Who's to blame for the Islanders demise over the last few years and counting? Is it the coaching staff/players or is the management that futile? Garth Snow, a former NHL goalie, is the general manager/stripper of blogger's credentials can be blamed partly for the Islanders struggles, but mostly for the recent struggles, not the overall organization issues over the last decade or so. Mike Milbury, resident d-bag and former Isles GM, absolutely stripped (don't fret about the stripped word count!) this team's talent level big time. We give Roberto Luongo a pile of sheet for his playoff choke artistry in Vancouver, but at least he isn't as fragile as one Rick Dipietro. Olli Joke-in-en is even better than Oleg Kvasha and Mark Parrish, righttttt? Zdeno Chara is better than the rejects that came the Islanders way, am I right or wrong?
Throughout the mid 2000's, the Islanders could have been a perennial playoff contender. At that point, those three were either in their prime or about ready to set off into their prime. They were what you'd want today. A number 1, dominant center who puts up 90 points per year, a number 1 blue liner, hulking one at that who sets off 100 mph bombs from the point and a young AND a super-talented number 1 netminder that could potentially ride you to the big dance. For the ten die hard Islanders fans, they can attest to the feeling.
It's easy to forget about a bad trade when your team is a contender year in and year out but when the team is on a bigger downfall than the water in Niagara Falls, the pain is everlasting. Shouldn't Milbury be banned from covering Isles games, as a color man or an analyst, after the slaughtering of his roster that still feels the affect, a decade later like a Scott Stevens patented hit on Eric Lindros?


@frsrmtthws

Much like their building, the Islanders are falling apart. This time, however, the damage may be irreparable. While it is certainly in vogue to pile on this franchise, the fact of the matter is that the dysfunction will certainly breed discontent. This time around instead of trading away their future stars, they may just walk away.

The Islanders have a decent nucleus of young talent, and at the top of this list is John Tavares. The key to the future of the team rests on the shoulders of #91. The big problem that we can all see on the horizon is that John Tavares is going to run out of patience with the franchise.

(Photo courtesy of The Hockey News)

While Steven Stamkos sets the league on fire with a great supporting cast, top notch coaching from Guy Boucher and the tutelage from hockey legend Steve Yzerman, Tavares has Jack Capuano and Garth Snow to fall back on. None of his line mates are all-star quality, he plays in front of 11,058 fans a night on the island and he is not becoming the future star that everyone has always promised he would be. His development is being hindered severely by the dysfunction from within the franchise.

Michael McEnany recently wrote in the Long Island Press: "They claim it took approximately 870 years to completely rebuild the Roman Empire back 753 BC. For fans of the New York Islanders, the rebuilding process around here is starting to feel just about as arduous."

It doesn't quite feel like rebuilding though does it. There is no long term vision from the owner, aside from a pocket filling mixed use land deal to get his Lighthouse project off the ground. The General Manager is clearly in over his head and they have just fired a coach and brought in an inexperienced man from the minors who is not exactly a superstar coach in the making. At this point in time they need to realize that they have Josh Bailey (who was just sent to the minors), Kyle Okposo and John Tavares to take care of. These players are the fresh faces of the franchise, the ones that they need to develop and the ones that they need to keep happy. If Tavares walks, this franchise will barely survive on the ice, and it is hard to believe that it will survive off of it. The Islanders haven't been relevant in over a decade, and nobody wants to fade into obscurity with them.

John Donne said "No one man is an island", however in this case, one very young man is the Island.

TEAM CANNABIS

Disclaimer: I do not advocate readership of this particular blog for those UNDER THE AGE OF 18, nor do I support the usage of said substance by those under 21. Stay in school, kids. 

For the rest of you, maturity, as always, is not required. 

With all the hype surrounding the high (heh heh) profile Proposition 19 out here in Californ-I-A on this Election Day, I figured I’d drop a little awareness on all of you out there in the rest of the hockey world (the West Coast, and the Rest coast), rolling you a little mental joint if you will, so Turn on, Tune in, and Drop out.

In the spirit of brevity, Prop 19 (aka Prop 420, I have no idea why) is the ballot measure in the state of California that will, if passed, legalize the personal use, limited cultivation, and transportation of marijuana by all persons over 21 years of age. It would end marijuana prohibition, thus allowing the State to regulate, tax and control cannabis how they choose (we’ll cross that crooked bridge when we come to it). Basically California's upward thinking is hoping this homely little plant with a heart of gold will (singlehandedly) pull the State out of debt, whilst pulling some rather shady characters off the streets and away from your underage kids. Not a bad idea in any part of the world, really.

‘But how does this affect me?’ you ask dubiously from the Rest Coast. Maybe it doesn’t. But it may have its place in the game we all love- baked or not, and depending on which way the votes swing, sooner than you think. Cannabis is currently legalized for medical purposes only in 16 US states, including California, Colorado, DC, Michigan, and New Jersey (NHL states); California having the loosest regulation and most progressive stand on the substance. Marijuana possession is still illegal in Canada, despite popular belief, but several loopholes exist, thus it is basically “decriminalized”. The NHL does not test for marijuana (though the Olympics organization does, so the big names ought to cut out the chronic), and as far as I know, usage (medically or recreationally) is not common among the NHL-set; but the discouraging stigma exists in any setting. 

I suppose most of the controversy (in sports) comes from the idea that marijuana may actually be a performance enhancer, though from personal experience, and mostly all second hand experience, it’s conclusive that it either hinders actual performance, or isn’t of any noticeable difference. The effects of marijuana on athletic performance include (but vary by individual):  impairment of hand-eye coordination, reaction time, motor coordination, perceptual accuracy, concentration, and reduces maximum exercise capacity (though the latter is arguable as I find it increases it, or perhaps just makes exercising more fun). If smoked (which is never recommended as a vehicle for medical purposes), it can cause long and short term respiratory issues, though there are completely safe options as far as medicating goes (vaporizing, edibles). I certainly wouldn’t recommend a pre-game bong hit or even a party-brownie as hockey is fast paced and requires quick reactions, and sharp thinking. Unless you like taking Too Many Men and Delay of Game penalties, beforehand usage would do a game situation no good.

However the potential medical benefits of cannabis to hockey players, and athletes in general are encouraging, and almost overwhelming. 

Here’s a broad list of hockey-related conditions that medical cannabis has been known to treat (approved conditions that qualify for a medical cannabis referral): 

Anxiety

Back pain/sprain

Brain trauma

Chronic Pain

Depression

Dyslexic Amblyopia

Gastrointestinal disorders

Hypertension

Insomnia

Knee/ankle/foot injury

Muscle tension/spasm

Migraine/headache

Post Concussion syndrome

Post surgery conditions

Stress-related conditions

Wow, a magical, all-natural, organic plant product that effectively treats pain of all types as well as emotional and mental conditions without the risk of dependency (unless you’ve never taken a hit in your life, you should know that marijuana is physically non-addictive, unlike its nasty cousin nicotine), and minimal physical side effects (mostly junk food); why would any team doctor not be in favor of this? Cheaper and safer than painkillers, anti-depressants, and sleeping pills (all of which are unfortunately, commonly prescribed to professional athletes). And I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t make for a safer (and better) party alternative to alcohol (also a common inebriant for our athletes), and look ma no hangover! 

But I regress, I’m not the type to attempt to sway voters in any political aspect, I am first and foremost a believer in freedom of choice, and doing what needs to be done to keep the peace and overall well-being of humanity; I don’t do peer pressure, I do what makes sense. In other words, I don’t like to touch politics with a Willie Mitchell sized stick. But like about half California right now, I like to be a progressive thinker, even when it comes to the small-ish but ever important pieces of my life (hockey). Here’s something potentially “game” changing that all forward-thinking hockey fans, players, management and staff alike can get behind, at least a little; something Big Stick Willie and his post-concussion syndrome can certainly get down with. 

Or perhaps it’s just me, and my bucket list goal of some day burning one (legally) with Jeremy Roenick. And that’s a dream that any good-time hockey fan can relate to. Those fans know what I’m talking about, like they know how Don Cherry (and his wardrobe) make complete sense from the “other side”… really, try it sometime.

Support progress, in hockey and in life.

Now puff, puff, pass that shit like Joe Thornton.

Peace.

(Images- Lauren Belfoy, CBC.ca)

TWO IN THE PINK

I’ve never been a subscriber to the whole “real men wear pink” mentality. I prefer my fellas in earth tones, greys, black, blues that don’t enter “baby” territory. But Colton Orr may just change my mind about this painfully uncool color (or colour, yes I'm bilingual).

Colton Orr fights guys AND Cancer, what do you do?

Word on the street is Leafs tough guy Colton Orr x Reebok collabo-ed to make the game’s first pink skates (supposedly set to make a game debut) to raise money and awareness to battle Cancer. 

How cool is that? 

I used to ask hockey player friends of mine if they would wear pink skates/helmet/laces if it meant they would score a goal every game. They all said no, for whatever reasons.

Alas it takes a beauty to change the game. It takes Colton Orr to make pink fucking scary. Now that's something I can get behind.

I hear a movement a' rockin'.

We can only hope.

 Peace + Love + Cancer Awareness, hockey fans. 

(images- CBC.ca, Bravosportscorp.com)

Rypien's Redemption

Rick Rypien has not followed the typical path of your average NHL player, typical being the easy road. The road where a young star is a sure thing, a "can't miss" kid who is making scouts run out of ink. Rypien has not been drafted at any level of hockey since he was a Bantam player in Southern Alberta. The CHL didn't draft him, and the NHL didn't draft him, suffice to say he has worked hard to get to where he is today.

Rypien played for the Crowsnest Pass Timberwolves in a South-Western Albertan town with a population of under 6,000 people that was not your typical hockey hotbed. After a year with the Timberwolves, and going undrafted in the WHL Bantam draft, Rypien joined the Regina Pats. With the Pats he finally had the chance to prove himself at a prestigious junior level. He spent four years in Regina fine tuning his game, became the team Captain and leading scorer in 2004/2005 with 51 Points to go along with 148 PIMs. Rypien yet again had shown that he deserved to play, that he was working hard to get the puck in the net, and wasn't afraid to play in the dirty areas of the ice. When his junior career came to a close in Regina, he was signed as an undrafted Free Agent by the Manitoba Moose of the AHL. It was hard work that got him to that level, but he had to forge his own path the the NHL. Not to say getting drafted is an automatic cakewalk to the Show, as there are many more drafted players who fell down the ladder than those undrafted who were never afforded the luxury of being in a team's "system" that actually made it; players like Rypien, who seemingly slipped through the cracks.

Photo from Vancouver Canucks

Rypien's road to success has never been without its potholes. He was never big enough, never fast enough and never talented enough for a free-ride (or even an easy one), but he found a way to be. He came from a small town, went undrafted throughout his career, jumped through hoops, yet made it all the way to the Big Show. He was called up by Vancouver, but quickly became a victim of injuries. He had a hard time sticking to the lineup due to these various injuries, including a broken finger, a pulled groin, a viral infection and finally missing 70 games in 2008/2009 with a sports hernia. He briefly took a leave of absence from the team; many believe it was the frustrations of being injured, and missing so much time with the team when he had finally made it. No doubt it wore on him, but nothing of the sort has ever been truly confirmed. It's a realistic scenario considering how players like Rypien are required to bring a rough game, physically and emotionally, all the time.

The recent incident in Minnesota brought an instant spotlight to Rypien, something the overlooked player has never really had to deal with through his career. It was a difficult event to watch as a fan, and I am sure a difficult one for him to face up to, as we all knew how much heat he would catch directly following it. He lost his cool and reacted inappropriately, but I do understand why he reacted the way that he did in the heat of the moment. It happens to humans. It happens to the hockey players who feel something about the game. Violence should be kept on the ice at all times, and always within the context of that game; but every so often that passion for the game spills over into real life and is rightfully punished, as was the case with Rypien.

When someone tells him that he is 'not professional' I have no doubt in my mind that it stung him. That was probably the worst part of punishment, being thought of as less of a hockey player. He has since apologized, and received a 6 game suspension from the NHL (which was completely fair and logical). Rypien plays the game hard, sometimes a little recklessly, but that won't change, and the fans love him for it. In a real sense, these are all the things that make someone more of a hockey player. That is how he earned his spot in the league. He has spent the past 15-20 years of his life becoming a professional. Rypien now comes back from his suspension with something to prove to the league and to his team, once again.

“The fact that they're in my corner and helped me out, I'm very thankful for that. My mindset now is I want to make them proud and make it up to them and do the very best I can.”
- Rick Rypien
Source: Vancouver Sun

He needs to prove that he has learned he cannot be a sideshow, he cannot be a distraction, and every time he steps on the ice he knows that he has to earn his next shift (as a 4th liner often does). Despite everything that has happened, he is a team player, a glue guy that is going to make sure he sticks in the NHL for as long as he can.

Flatly, he deserves a lot of credit for the hard work that he has put into his game (Video: Meet Young Canuck Rick Rypien), and his teammates thrive off of that work ethic. They perhaps see someone that has not had it as easy as them, someone who has clawed and scratched to get to where they were practically guaranteed to be; and that should be something that inspires all hockey players. Rypien is a heart and soul player, someone who has shown sacrifice and love of the game. Someone who has put his body and persona on the line to become arguably the 'pound for pound' toughest guy in the league. He is the type of player that only the home fans love, and is hated by pretty much the balance of the league. I think that when we put it in perspective we can see him as an everyman, someone that has earned his spot, and while he crossed the line with his actions, I believe that he is someone that we should be rooting for, not against. Let's hope his road to redemption is paved a lot smoother than his road to the NHL.

We should all keep in mind that while the fan in Minnesota paid for his seats and his jersey, Rick Rypien had to earn his.

BATTLE OF THE BIAS: Throwing Bombs

(Photo Courtesy of fittedid.com)

Battle of the Bias is a coast-to-coast battle from a couple of authentic hockey fans in replica jerseys. Lauren representing the West Coast and Fraser representing the East Coast.



Fraser: Welcome to DGNB first Battle of the Bias! Lauren everyone around the league is bringing it with their NHL previews and predictions. We need to hop over the boards and get things kicked off ourselves. I want to start off with who will be swinging the fists this year.

I'll start with the Eastern Conference. It has been a busy off season, and established pests like Ottawa's Chris Neil and Philadelphia's Dan Carcillo are facing a lot of competition out on the ice. Colton Orr is looking like a heavyweight with the Maple Leafs, and the Rangers brought in Derek Boogaard, who already started things off with a spear to Chris Neil's groin on Sunday. Boogaard, who owns the current NHL goalless streak at 222 games last scored a goal on January 7, 2006 (Hockeyfights.com), he isn't here to score, he is here to stir things up, protect the stars and agitate the other team. The Rangers are looking for him to do more than fight, but we all know what he is there for, protection. Ottawa also has Matt Carkner who can step in to protect the team, and even Neil when necessary. Tampa Bay brings back a gruesome twosome of Zenon Knopka and Steve Downie. Toughness on the first line? Check.

What is going on in the West? Who is going to protect the kids in Edmonton?

Click on any of the links above to check these guys out in action.

Lauren: The Best Coast perhaps doesn’t appear to hold the same “toughness” prestige they once did, compared to the generous contracts some tough guys scored out East this offseason (I personally am of the more-risk-more-reward school of thought, so I favor those moves). The West has traditionally been known for a rougher breed of hockey player, and an emphasis on defensive prowess, and size, where the East favors a more speed and finesse-based game. However the two conferences’ “styles” are bleeding into each other more and more each season.

My boys in LA are minus a Raitis Ivanans, but plus a Kevin Westgarth and a 19 year old Kyle Clifford, two fourth line “energy” players likely to throw some bombs this season (ideally in Corey Perry’s direction). Anaheim’s still got a tough core with Parros, but beefed up even more with the offseason addition of Aaron Voros (as the Rangers cleaned out their enforcer closet); the Ducks have also racked up the most preseason fights thus far. San Jose has been without big hammer Jody Shelley since February of last season, but recently added some grit via wingers Jamal Mayers and Frazer McLaren. I’ve seen McLaren drop ‘em plenty of times vs. my hometown Seattle Thunderbirds back when he was a long-standing tough guy in the WHL; he’s guaranteed to be a fan favorite in San Jose. Hockey in California has been thrilling the past few years, and this season stands to be no exception.

Additionally, look for sparks from old stand bys like Jared Boll (Columbus), Cam Janssen (St. Louis), and Krys Barch (Dallas). On an unrelated note, did you know that Wade Belak had a preseason fight? Neither did I.

My personal favorite saga out West this season, as far as scraps are concerned, is the Battle of Alberta. The whittled down Flames squad aquired a boost of muscle when they signed Raitis Ivanans fresh from the LA Kings during the offseason, and a guy named Tim Jackman (great name), which should guarantee us some gruesome fun (because the best Flames team is a nasty Flames team I say) when they face default tough guy Zack Stortini and the Oilers during the season.

(Photo courtesy of hockeyfights.com)

Stortini’s role on the team this season extends beyond the usual cuddle-fest, as the Oilers are especially focused on developing (and therefore protecting the physical well-being of) their copious young talent, as well as their high-priced top-liners. Also on board to take on a body guard role for the Oilers is the young and ballsy Theo Peckham, who has been a frequent call up when the Oilers require his services; look for Peckham to prove himself during one of this season’s Battles. All of which Fraser Matthews has reenacted on NHL11 several times over already.

So Fras, in my broadest opinion, the West isn’t as tough as the East on paper, but it really remains to be seen when teams in the conferences meet during the season. A team’s blood rival, most often, is the team they play most frequently throughout the season. I would like to see more of an East vs. West mentality in this game. I think it would make the vibe going into the playoffs, going into the finals, a little more competitive, and a lot more exciting. What potential East vs. West fisticuffs are you looking forward to seeing go down? What kinds of storylines can the teams build to make the interconference rivalry a dirtier one?

Fraser: It is hard to build up enough bad blood to create an interconference rivalry in the new NHL. With the changes to the schedule, teams are playing each other one to two times a season. These games aren't the same as what they used to be, but the old school Norris division battles are usually the best. The Norris Division had the Chicago Blackhawks, St. Louis Blues, Toronto Maple Leafs, Detroit Red Wings and Minnesota North Stars battling with one an other 8 times a year, plus playoffs. Anytime these teams get together (WATCH THIS!) you can guarantee that the stakes are higher. The games have prestige and pride on the line, especially amongst the Original 6 teams.

Some of the best rivalries include The Battle of Pennsylvania, Washington vs. Pittsburgh, and of course one of hockey's oldest and most tribal, Montreal vs. Toronto, which kicks off the Maple Leafs and Canadiens season tonight. While many of the Eastern Conferences rivalries are based on territory (Rangers vs. Islanders) and tradition (Bruins vs. Canadiens) built over a number of years, the expansion of the NHL has led to a number of major rivalries emerging in the Western Conference.

What are the biggest games you are looking forward to this season? Can the Canucks dethrone the Hawks? Can the Kings win SoCal from the Ducks?

Lauren: I'm just saying that the bad blood should be there, if only because of the difference in location, even if it doesn't come from some long-standing rivalry. The new-school hockey fan part of me says 'fuck tradition'. The only time you really see them hype the Eastern Conference and Western Conference as rivals is during the All Star Game (...yeah)- make them exciting. I would just like to see inter-conference games matter to people, rather than just being a novelty- "Oh hey the Maple Leafs are in town, they're like big right?" Ideally, wouldn't it be exciting if at Cup time, fans supported their respective conference, instead of just shrugging off the series because it doesn't involve their team? Like Tupac and Biggie, only no one gets shot. Perhaps this is a West coast fan mentality, but we want to see the Leafs, and the Habs, and the Lightning, and the Capitals, and we want those games to be competitive and important for everyone involved.

That being said, as far as the West goes, I'm looking forward to a Kings and Wings rivalry this season, I think Detroit is going to give the heavily-buzzed-about Los Angeles team the biggest run for their money. Detroit is our golden child out West, I think even the people who despise them kind of end up rooting for them when it comes down to it. But I regress, the Kings and Canucks still have unfinished business after last season's playoff series, and I'm actually really looking forward to seeing Canucks warrior Rick Rypien in full action. Rypien, dubbed "the pitbull", is a 5'11 winger with a wicked smirk and readiness to throw fists. He's battling a preseason injury but is expected to be back on that fourth line by the start of regular season, and causing ruckus all over the Western Conference. Including Chicago. I think people underestimate the cuts that the Blackhawks had to make in the offseason, namely the multi-tasking Dustin Byfuglien and super-talented Kris Versteeg. That's not to say they still won't come out near the top, they probably will. I suppose if I had to tell someone in the Eastern Conference what Western teams are going to give them hell this season it would be the above mentioned teams.

And obviously I look forward to any game in which Todd Bertuzzi gets booed every time he touches the puck. I love having that guy in my Conference.

Let the madness commence.

FOURTH IS THE BEST

Hey there, DGNB readers. I apologize for neglecting the ten of you (whom I love equally) recently. Mostly, logging into Blogger is kind of a bitch every time, but I regress- no excuses, especially lousy ones like that.

I figured I'd update you with the goings-on in DGNB world. Firstly, and most importantly, not only will you be able to find my insightful prose here (like I'd abandon you, and this forum in which I can say 'fuck'), but I have joined The Fourth Period magazine team for the upcoming season, and this is huge for me. The Fourth Period is the only hockey lifestyle magazine, and if we all agree on something, it's that the lifestyle surrounding our sport is really like no other. The articles are edgy, the photos (especially the covers) are dope, and there aren't 13 pages of stats to skip (okay, I skim them sometimes). The Fourth Period magazine is doing its huge part in bridging the gaps between fan, player, and organization (perhaps bridging the media/blogger gap a little as well); really appealing to the real fan, which most of us are. Keep an eye out for my stuff at TheFourthPeriod.com (or click the TFP logo on the right), and check out the free digital issue of the most recent magazine out NOW.

Lastly, the first ever DGNB t-shirt will be dropping soon, and while we are talking merchandise, let us hear what else you'd like to see via DGNB web store (no worries, none of that 'dot com' stuff, self promotion is really not our forte). All ideas are welcome, even the dumb ones. Especially the dumb ones.


Let's drop the puck already, I'm sick of making LA Kings toast.


Peace + love, fellow hockey fans.


(photos- The Fourth Period)

HE ASKED FOR A 13 BUT THEY DREW A 31

This week some guy named Kovalchuk (or some guy named his agent) finally got their Paul-McCartney-esque contract demands met. He's staying with the Devils for like, the rest of his life, and still nothing in the actual game itself changes, and still I don't care. No, this week I'm relishing in a double goalie mask FAIL.

To be fair, Dan Ellis is my favorite hockey player on Twitter. His darling tweets about how much he loves his family never fail to draw an "aww" out of this stone face, and his opinions on the league and the game are honest, candid and legitimate. I sheepishly admit to not really hearing of Dan Ellis before Twitter, which goes to show naysayers like myself that this stupid Twitter thing may actually be helpful in spreading the Good Word of the game (maybe). But Dan Ellis made himself really popular/unpopular (remains to be seen) with a weird crowd when he unknowingly chose a World of Warcraft figure for his TB Lightning mask art, prompting some to wonder, not about the theme, but if Dan Ellis is, off the ice, a WoW fan. Ellis could have played it off like 'It's a level 60 Grand Marshall PVP set, yeah I'm that good, you should see me in the pipes, mother fucker'. But Dan Ellis wouldn't say that, because Dan Ellis is an honest man (because Dan Ellis is not a 20-something stoner with a dirty mouth and off-color sense of humor). Instead he humbly admits via Twitter:


I had no idea that it was a WoW figure. I google image searched Thor and that came up. Thor god of Thunder and Zeus god of sky/thunder/light

But if my WoW mask makes you happy...rock on! 


Dan Ellis managed to make himself look like a total nerd, while making himself look like a total non-nerd by being totally clueless about the nerdiness of it all. Rock on back, Dan. But still, Google Image FAIL. Consider yourself pwned.

Good thing for Ellis and feline-hoarding-hockey fans everywhere, Yahoo!'s Puck Daddy blog uncovered the latest comic gem to come out of Russia, only a couple days later. 

Look here, meow

This little guy belongs to Vasiliy Koshechkin of the KHL, who either has an amazing sense of humor, or is playing off a mistake like Dan Ellis didn't. Slap on some cloudy  blue skies, throw on a fluffy white kitten (the detail they put into the fur), some Kid Pixx font... pretty straightforward artistic direction if you ask me. Apparently it was originally supposed to be a tomcat (Koshechkin's nickname is "Cat") but it ended up looking like a kitten (it's cool, mask artist, I wouldn't know what to do with the word "tomcat" either, maybe he wanted a portrait of Tom Jones, which considering the outcome, wouldn't have been outside the realm of possibility). Being the man of ironic humor that he might be, Vasiliy Koshechkin rocked the adorable head piece anyway, he even named the kitten on the side and claimed that the little fella is "very bored from being on the side of his head all the time". At which point I'm wondering if I enjoy this because it is classic goaltender eccentricity or because it reminds me of a  mushroom trip I once had. I don't know how good of a player Vasiliy Koshechkin is, but if he isn't getting much pipe time, he can always claim that the kitten on his helmet is bored from being on the bench all the time. Even the guy in the kitty mask doesn't like to be door bitch.

  
Peace + love, hockey fans

(photos- 25Stanley.com, Puck Daddy on Yahoo!)

SOME GUY AND A TROPHY

Would look darling next to the chihuahua in your Dodge Neon

Well I for one cannot wait for Ellen Degeneres bobblehead night in Tampa. What is with making hockey player bobblehead statuettes in "street clothes"? Out of context (out of a hockey jersey, gloves and helmet) Steven Stamkos might just look like some guy (or Ellen) to the unknowing eye (including mine). To be fair, it's actually a good rendering of Stamkos, he just kind of looks like Ellen in person. Bobbleheads are a strange promo when you think about it. As a side note on Stamkos, I wonder about him more than anyone why the TB Lightning forward hasn't cracked a video game cover yet. His fancy shmancy offensive artillery and just plain neon-presence are begging to be exploited, and surprisingly haven't been exploited enough by said gimmick-happy organization (for the record I am not pro-exploitation, I am maybe speaking satirically). He is actually, maybe, perhaps, a little overlooked. I see him as one of the most talented players in the league, and definitely among the best representing young players in the game today. But still, I'd like to see a little more of that tow-headed eccentricity out of our boy, because well, what grown man has blond hair?

About Willie Mitchell, I will get to him later, as I feel the subject deserves more thought put into it than me laying around this 100 degree apartment listening to No Diggity. Casual Wednesdays, you know how it is.  You care about Willie Mitchell, I care about Steven Stamkos' head.

Till Willie...?

Peace.

photo from TBL TwitPic

GIVE ME GLITTER, OR GIVE ME DEATH?

I’m a hockey fan first, a peacemaker second, and perhaps a clothes-horse third. I love my J Brand skinny jeans and Alexander Wang knits as much as the next chick, but I would wear a hockey jersey every day of my life if I could. If such a thing were acceptable and practical in mainstream society (in America, in Los Angeles), I actually might.

Prepare for a semi-girly post here, though I will keep the glitter graphics and Taylor Swift song quotes to a minimum. If the only couture you care about is Randy (or Logan... SJ reference), you’ve been properly warned. Here we go: the latest women’s merchandise offerings from the NHL are getting quite the buzz for being quite awful.

To be fair, I’m not offended by any of the women’s merch put out by the NHL, (not even by the description that promises to show off my “feminine curves”, for some of us the only curves we’ve ever had were by Blackberry). That is silly. If anything, I just don’t buy it, like I don’t buy white-rimmed sunglasses. Plus there is a lot of women’s merch on shop.nhl.com not to hate, like this American Apparel-esque tee, and most of it is athletic wear. Whoever is in charge of some of the merchandise at the NHL isn’t trying to offend women, that was never the aim, I chalk it up to someone who just doesn’t know much about fashion as designer, and someone who doesn’t know that much about fashion as buyer. As much as I tend to embrace a masculine spirit, I love fashion. I don’t see it as a frivolous interest, or status symbol, but as a way to express oneself. Anyone familiar with names like Rodarte or Alexander McQueen especially know that fashion is a form of art, art that is presented to us to interpret how we please; that is the beauty of personal style. When you think about it, at most given times in our lives, the clothes on our backs are all we’ve got, so why not make them something you feel proud wearing?

After college, I never had much interest in pursuing anything in the fashion business (“school” had me focusing mostly on the finer points of urban living, parking garages, and BMW ownership).Writing is where my heart is, especially writing about hockey. BUT I want to help the NHL, and I want to help out my fellow fans. Put that fashion degree (and ¼ of a graphic design degree) that is gathering dust to good use. Make all those European fashion magazines worth the hardcover-like prices I paid (also gathering dust next to my pristine Fourth Period issues). I feel it may have been the simply the wrong approach at marketing. Taking open suggestions from fans seems like a good way to get a grasp on what all women want out of a hockey jersey, but in my experience too many opinions, and different ones, gets you right back where you started, and maybe even gets you to a bedazzled mutant with a painfully out-of-style color scheme and bad graphics and font. This is my open message to the NHL and hockey fankind: let me defy the stereotypes, and break down this Berlin wall of genres, one fine-jersey-knit thread at a time. Hockey and fashion can co-exist, why not? It has in my life for years.

Sometimes I wonder how many other chicks have had to take a pair of scissors to some men’s NHL merch and hack it up into something that would make Sid Vicious proud. While I will always support that kind of creativity and ingenuity, maybe hockey fans just want something, I don’t know, real (but not boring). All women are different, and all women have their own style, but the one thing I know about hockey fan style is this: we want to wear our team’s colors. Isn’t that the point? And really aren’t there more women, just in general, who would rather wear the traditional team colors rather than like pink, or like baby blue (I don’t even like the word “baby blue”)? I’m not a feminist and I have never in my life claimed such a thing, but I know this: the only hockey fan women that want to feel separated from the primarily male-dominated fan base, are the ones that label themselves “women fans”; because in the grand sense, we all love the same game, and each fan is as authentic as the next. Personal style is an important form of expression to most people, and in this case, women want to achieve that and show their support for the game they love, and maybe actually look cool while doing it.

Until then ladies, do what I do: cram your “feminine curves” (or whatever) into the neck-hole of an XL Devin Setoguchi name-and-number tee and tie the sleeves around your back. Abbra-ca-tubetop.
(See photo at the bottom of the last post for this example.)

Speaking of, I can already tell you what piece of clothing is going to make the next mark on the hockey-world zeitgeist:

Just the mock-up for now, but stay tuned for updates on the DGNB merch we’ve got in the works

But now hockey fans, I’m feeling the need for some testosteronie n’ cheese- I’m going to catch The Expendables at matinee.

Peace.
(photo and design - Lauren Belfoy)

NOTCH IN THE SUN-BELT

I’m not one to perpetuate rumors, but Willie Mitchell and his questionably (but not really) large stick could go to San Jose, so consider them perpetuated.

Willie Mitchell is my personal favorite Canuck, and my favorite kind of D-man. I remember seeing a Canucks game in Vancouver a couple seasons ago that saw the Nucks just barely miss the playoffs, the Oilers had a one goal lead and Luongo (G) was pulled when there was a breakaway; Willie Mitchell backs his number 8 into the Nucks goal, his enormous stick positioned like a goaltender, and blocks the shot. This is the kind of player Willie is. Tough, physically old school, competitive, a shut-down guy with fantastic positioning and an impressively low amount of penalty minutes. Dependable I think is the word.

Hugs and kisses Mike Keenan

I shant point out the blaringly obvious point that this is exactly what San Jose needs. But I will. An experienced d-man with an innate defensive sense to counterbalance the offensive prowess of Dan Boyle in their defensive repertoire. Apparently along with SJ, Washington and Detroit are the other front runners for a Mitchell contract, that is if the Canucks do not resign him. I imagine all would offer him a similar contract (one-year*), and if he doesn’t resign with Vancouver, I can completely see him going with San Jose. For one, I’d imagine he would want to stay on the West Coast, not just because it’s the West Coast and that would be reason enough, but because it’s close to home, wherever that is. Also the Sharks management seems to have a good relationship with its players, as players seem to genuinely like playing and staying there. In the past few years San Jose has become quite a desirable place to play, especially for middle-aged players looking for a hot comeback (am I the only one that can see a Cup in San Jose in the semi-near future? It’s lonely in this boat).

Mitchell took a ferocious hit from behind courtesy of Evgeni Malkin during a game mid-season and suffered a devastating concussion, followed by a lengthy brain-numbing, soul crushing rehabilitation period, he hadn’t skated since January but is apparently cleared to return to life. There’s always something. And the snag that occurs with him signing a contract is the questionability of Mitchell’s health and ability to remain healthy. *A huge factor that could be a deal breaker for Doug Wilson (Sharks GM), or lead to a significant “price reduction” for Mitchell’s services. Factors that no one really likes to consider but serve to remind us of the fragility of our heroes, and the general unfairness of being mortal and human.

As a Willie fan, I intend to keep the faith; I’m rooting for the guy. I would love to see him come around and make some magic in Teal down here in the Sun-Belt. Besides, if the medical cannabis (go prop 215) isn’t enough for a “concussion sufferer with chronic symptoms” (hockey injury, I swear doc), there really is nothing like day after day of sunshine to heal the soul, and the tan line shortage.

                                                                            Rock out.

(photos- myself, Puck Daddy, myself)

BLOKES

Heritage Classic, World Cup of Quiddage, whatever you call it, a second outdoor NHL game two months after the first this season earns itself the moniker "Winter Classic Jr" as far as I'm concerned. I don't completely understand the double-dragon marketing idea here, and all Team Gryffindor jokes aside, I Totes McGotes need to get me one of those throwback Calgary Flames jerseys. I've always been a sucker for the rugby-stripe hockey sweaters, and just about anything the Flames do. I didn't even hate the fire-breathing-horse third jerseys from a couple years back (though ALL girls love horses, it's true, even if they pretend they don't). I don't necessarily see the dirty marketing ploy of the "third jersey" concept, I see it as a way for teams to get creative with another sweater, a third jersey is a blank canvas and it's always at least interesting to see what kind of gem/monstrosity comes of it. For such a masculine sport, hockey fans sure care about what threads are on the backs of our athletes.

Looking forward to the Winter Classic and Winter Classic Jr (slightly more interested in the latter to be honest), almost as much as I look forward to the promotional jerseys, and almost as much as I look forward the next Harry Potter installment (dork). Oh and for those of you to whom actor Robert Pattinson will always be Cedric Diggory and not the faggy vampire from the Twilight movies, I salute you.


(photo courtesy of NHL.com)

A KNUCKLE DUSTER MADE OF GOLD

Guys like Derek Boogaard are game changers. And not by a pair of dropped gloves during a single match. The game of hockey itself.

He is one of the offbeat few that shock us/anger us/delight us/whatever us with their antics; they force us to feel something new about the game, and maybe look at things a little differently. Their first instincts are rarely the correct ones, but always the most memorable. These players bring us closer to the humanity of hockey through their humility. In a world of mundane statistics, and anonymous uniform of suit, tie, and black eye, it’s refreshing when a player can find his way in the game by (mostly) sheer wit, and not talent. Such players have been known to inspire “No obscene distracting of the goaltender” (in so many words) amendments to the NHL rulebook, move GMs to shell out offensive amounts of cap space dollars for a simple character guy, and even drag this disenfranchised hockey writer out of hiatus.

These players exist outside the game of hockey. While I fucking love Anze Kopitar and I think he’s a fantastic hockey player, I don’t know anything about him, I certainly don’t feel anything about him, I don’t know what he does or who he is outside of hockey (though there is a certain type of fan devoted to finding out this exact kind of thing). The casual fan might not know who Anze is, any non hockey fan will not know who he is, but mom and pop back home are watching Derek Boogaard discuss his Fight Camp on Fox News Channel and reading about Sean Avery in Newsweek, watching Alex Ovechkin on MTV Cribs. People on the outside- people not associated with the game in any way- know these personas; they associate the game of hockey, the NHL, with these players. In a way these characters do their part to define the game as it is today, alongside the finesse and genuine god-given-talents of guys like Sidney Crosby, not necessarily to us who are familiar with it, but those who are not. What harmony our beloved game works in when you think about it.

So you could see, at least in the smallest sense, why these types of players would be perhaps as desirable to an NHL organization as a 30 G a season, slick skating power forward. We don’t understand it because no matter what, if you love the game, you look at it from a fan perspective. And we hate it because it reveals that our professional athletes are –gasp- performers.

No matter what anyone says, the truth is: character is EVERYTHING.

I read a quote on this thing called Twitter from a newly hired AHL GM; he said that the organization was “looking forward to building a winning and entertaining team”. It struck me as a little misinformed in the instant, but then I thought ‘this is really the aim of all clubs, isn’t it?’ To build both a successful, skillful team, and an exciting experience for fans. As much as we as fans hate the idea of having something we love sold to us rather than actually feeling it for ourselves, the NHL is in the business of entertainment. Clubs want to market the team well, and ultimately sell the game. Naturally a big-name team like the New York Rangers has a need for players who are skilled and players who are relevant to the game.

I don’t know much about the New York Rangers but I do know they must feel this way. Perhaps it has always been part of the NYR aesthetic to house “lifestyle” or “situational” players (Laraque, Avery, to name a couple recent examples), some might claim they even created the concept in the game. Perhaps Glen Sather (NYR GM/Pres) is trying to rebuild “a dynasty” or something cliché and marketable like that, and wants Boogaard as his cornerstone goon. We wonder what would really make a GM place that much money and good faith (or not) on a player who is not only statistically and fiscally not worth it, but also a liability. What we are all too afraid to think is that maybe Boogaard isn’t there to play; he is there to just be, man. That 6.5 million dollars looks like a frivolous, idiotic, unnecessary extravagance of deal to us not in the business of selling the game, but the NY Rangers are sending a message that is lost among dollar signs and stats sheets: Derek Boogaard is relevant, this team is relevant, and we are serious about our relevance. Likewise That 6.5 million dollars didn’t just buy Derek Boogaard four years as a Blueshirt (and probably a nice Rover); it bought him a lifetime (or career-long) tag as a high-end goon, one of the toughest guys in the league, despite the outcome of this situation. And what both sides get out of the deal is essentially priceless.

From the outside, it seems to be an almost sarcastic price to pay for a fan favorite, regardless of how many Boogaard jerseys or name/numbers tees (two O’s, two A’s) fly off the shelves. Everybody loves a tough guy, and MSG has seen its fair share of blood spilled at the knuckles of some of the greatest. Derek Boogaard is an old schoolish tough guy that has seemed to fine tune and adapt his skill set and character to launch an unusually successful career in the modern game. Derek Boogaard’s job directly is to play a game, more specifically to enforce, throw fists where and when it counts, show up and go through the same motions as his peers- and indirectly to sell the game. And who ever decided that one’s net worth was directly related to one-ice minutes, or offensive production? The NHL does not pay hourly, or on a per goal basis, so all $-per-ice-time arguments should be obsolete. From the NYR standpoint, Derek Boogaard does his job, and he does it well.

In a larger sense, the signing has celebritized Boogaard to an even higher status, making him more worth the money the more people fuss about it. Paradoxically, by “overpaying” for Boogaard, the NY Rangers may actually have made him worth it, regardless of how the next four years go. Is it just promoting violent behavior in the sport? I say nay. Is buying, not building, character wrong? Maybe. But if clubs can use moderately valuable cap space to bring a little character to a team, I will never see the problem. Of course, these incidents like Boogaard’s are rare and often isolated; as strange as it sounds, image is something that is earned, Derek Boogaard didn’t become a covetable tough guy overnight just by being declared as one. Derek Boogaard “seduced” the system. By simply being his gritty, goony self, he made himself desirable to a team that is looking for exactly that kind of image. Of course, you can probably sell any piece of shit for $6.5 million dollars and people will think it comes in a solid gold toilet bowl. In that metaphor, Derek Boogaard is the piece of shit, and his career is the solid gold toilet bowl.

It's always a good ending if you can use "piece of shit", eh?
Peace + love.

HELLO, HELLO AGAIN

We meet again, hockey fans. I’ve been on quite the blog-hiatus (if anyone reading this is saying “what blog?” you might as well stop reading now, skip to the next entry, and we’ll start fresh, cool?). Partly because I am on the tail end of a two-year binge of irresponsibility, and possibly the most fun I’ve ever had. And partly, less partly than the former, I’ve been working on a personal project of sorts, one that hopefully doesn’t attract all the connotations and clichés that come along with “writing a novel” (okay, maybe some of the clichés, let’s be real). I’ve been meaning to get back to you for a while actually. Who knows what really made me decide to actually put it into action, but I blame Derek Boogaard. 1300 + aimless words about this goofy son of a bitch (how about that? No censorship) and the recently infamous ‘Boogaard contract’ (I don’t even need to say the number because it is blaring in your head right now) had me realizing that I actually spend a lot of time during the day occupying my mind with things like this. Things like hockey.

By the way, I defended the Boogaard contract…. I know, right?

Truth be told, I’m hungry for this type of outlet; to be able to communicate with people all over about the game we all love. But that is only half of it. I’m only half an attention whore because my good buddy Fraser Matthews will be collabo-ing with me on all things hockey (not all things, just the things we care about). Fraser resides and works the nine-to-five grind in the hockey Mecca of Toronto, and I live and day dream out in the hockey-not-so-Mecca of Los Angeles- you’re starting to get why this is cute, eh? Matthews is perhaps the perfect constant contributor for me mostly because he is everything I’m not (a Rob Lowe look alike), he knows things I don’t know (he’s Canadian and you can’t argue with bloodlines), and he always has something good to say when we talk hockey (or when we talk whatever); always my favorite source of entertaining information. So this is our outlet, a collective of thoughts, coast-to-coast musings from a couple of real hockey fans. What we have to say is never more or less important than anything anyone else has to say- maybe (hopefully) just a little different, like Derek Boogaard, and we can appreciate that.


It’s good to be back, people. Looking forward to raising a glass, raising a Cup, and raising a little hell with you all this season.


Peace and love, hockey fans.