SOME GUY AND A TROPHY

Would look darling next to the chihuahua in your Dodge Neon

Well I for one cannot wait for Ellen Degeneres bobblehead night in Tampa. What is with making hockey player bobblehead statuettes in "street clothes"? Out of context (out of a hockey jersey, gloves and helmet) Steven Stamkos might just look like some guy (or Ellen) to the unknowing eye (including mine). To be fair, it's actually a good rendering of Stamkos, he just kind of looks like Ellen in person. Bobbleheads are a strange promo when you think about it. As a side note on Stamkos, I wonder about him more than anyone why the TB Lightning forward hasn't cracked a video game cover yet. His fancy shmancy offensive artillery and just plain neon-presence are begging to be exploited, and surprisingly haven't been exploited enough by said gimmick-happy organization (for the record I am not pro-exploitation, I am maybe speaking satirically). He is actually, maybe, perhaps, a little overlooked. I see him as one of the most talented players in the league, and definitely among the best representing young players in the game today. But still, I'd like to see a little more of that tow-headed eccentricity out of our boy, because well, what grown man has blond hair?

About Willie Mitchell, I will get to him later, as I feel the subject deserves more thought put into it than me laying around this 100 degree apartment listening to No Diggity. Casual Wednesdays, you know how it is.  You care about Willie Mitchell, I care about Steven Stamkos' head.

Till Willie...?

Peace.

photo from TBL TwitPic

GIVE ME GLITTER, OR GIVE ME DEATH?

I’m a hockey fan first, a peacemaker second, and perhaps a clothes-horse third. I love my J Brand skinny jeans and Alexander Wang knits as much as the next chick, but I would wear a hockey jersey every day of my life if I could. If such a thing were acceptable and practical in mainstream society (in America, in Los Angeles), I actually might.

Prepare for a semi-girly post here, though I will keep the glitter graphics and Taylor Swift song quotes to a minimum. If the only couture you care about is Randy (or Logan... SJ reference), you’ve been properly warned. Here we go: the latest women’s merchandise offerings from the NHL are getting quite the buzz for being quite awful.

To be fair, I’m not offended by any of the women’s merch put out by the NHL, (not even by the description that promises to show off my “feminine curves”, for some of us the only curves we’ve ever had were by Blackberry). That is silly. If anything, I just don’t buy it, like I don’t buy white-rimmed sunglasses. Plus there is a lot of women’s merch on shop.nhl.com not to hate, like this American Apparel-esque tee, and most of it is athletic wear. Whoever is in charge of some of the merchandise at the NHL isn’t trying to offend women, that was never the aim, I chalk it up to someone who just doesn’t know much about fashion as designer, and someone who doesn’t know that much about fashion as buyer. As much as I tend to embrace a masculine spirit, I love fashion. I don’t see it as a frivolous interest, or status symbol, but as a way to express oneself. Anyone familiar with names like Rodarte or Alexander McQueen especially know that fashion is a form of art, art that is presented to us to interpret how we please; that is the beauty of personal style. When you think about it, at most given times in our lives, the clothes on our backs are all we’ve got, so why not make them something you feel proud wearing?

After college, I never had much interest in pursuing anything in the fashion business (“school” had me focusing mostly on the finer points of urban living, parking garages, and BMW ownership).Writing is where my heart is, especially writing about hockey. BUT I want to help the NHL, and I want to help out my fellow fans. Put that fashion degree (and ¼ of a graphic design degree) that is gathering dust to good use. Make all those European fashion magazines worth the hardcover-like prices I paid (also gathering dust next to my pristine Fourth Period issues). I feel it may have been the simply the wrong approach at marketing. Taking open suggestions from fans seems like a good way to get a grasp on what all women want out of a hockey jersey, but in my experience too many opinions, and different ones, gets you right back where you started, and maybe even gets you to a bedazzled mutant with a painfully out-of-style color scheme and bad graphics and font. This is my open message to the NHL and hockey fankind: let me defy the stereotypes, and break down this Berlin wall of genres, one fine-jersey-knit thread at a time. Hockey and fashion can co-exist, why not? It has in my life for years.

Sometimes I wonder how many other chicks have had to take a pair of scissors to some men’s NHL merch and hack it up into something that would make Sid Vicious proud. While I will always support that kind of creativity and ingenuity, maybe hockey fans just want something, I don’t know, real (but not boring). All women are different, and all women have their own style, but the one thing I know about hockey fan style is this: we want to wear our team’s colors. Isn’t that the point? And really aren’t there more women, just in general, who would rather wear the traditional team colors rather than like pink, or like baby blue (I don’t even like the word “baby blue”)? I’m not a feminist and I have never in my life claimed such a thing, but I know this: the only hockey fan women that want to feel separated from the primarily male-dominated fan base, are the ones that label themselves “women fans”; because in the grand sense, we all love the same game, and each fan is as authentic as the next. Personal style is an important form of expression to most people, and in this case, women want to achieve that and show their support for the game they love, and maybe actually look cool while doing it.

Until then ladies, do what I do: cram your “feminine curves” (or whatever) into the neck-hole of an XL Devin Setoguchi name-and-number tee and tie the sleeves around your back. Abbra-ca-tubetop.
(See photo at the bottom of the last post for this example.)

Speaking of, I can already tell you what piece of clothing is going to make the next mark on the hockey-world zeitgeist:

Just the mock-up for now, but stay tuned for updates on the DGNB merch we’ve got in the works

But now hockey fans, I’m feeling the need for some testosteronie n’ cheese- I’m going to catch The Expendables at matinee.

Peace.
(photo and design - Lauren Belfoy)

NOTCH IN THE SUN-BELT

I’m not one to perpetuate rumors, but Willie Mitchell and his questionably (but not really) large stick could go to San Jose, so consider them perpetuated.

Willie Mitchell is my personal favorite Canuck, and my favorite kind of D-man. I remember seeing a Canucks game in Vancouver a couple seasons ago that saw the Nucks just barely miss the playoffs, the Oilers had a one goal lead and Luongo (G) was pulled when there was a breakaway; Willie Mitchell backs his number 8 into the Nucks goal, his enormous stick positioned like a goaltender, and blocks the shot. This is the kind of player Willie is. Tough, physically old school, competitive, a shut-down guy with fantastic positioning and an impressively low amount of penalty minutes. Dependable I think is the word.

Hugs and kisses Mike Keenan

I shant point out the blaringly obvious point that this is exactly what San Jose needs. But I will. An experienced d-man with an innate defensive sense to counterbalance the offensive prowess of Dan Boyle in their defensive repertoire. Apparently along with SJ, Washington and Detroit are the other front runners for a Mitchell contract, that is if the Canucks do not resign him. I imagine all would offer him a similar contract (one-year*), and if he doesn’t resign with Vancouver, I can completely see him going with San Jose. For one, I’d imagine he would want to stay on the West Coast, not just because it’s the West Coast and that would be reason enough, but because it’s close to home, wherever that is. Also the Sharks management seems to have a good relationship with its players, as players seem to genuinely like playing and staying there. In the past few years San Jose has become quite a desirable place to play, especially for middle-aged players looking for a hot comeback (am I the only one that can see a Cup in San Jose in the semi-near future? It’s lonely in this boat).

Mitchell took a ferocious hit from behind courtesy of Evgeni Malkin during a game mid-season and suffered a devastating concussion, followed by a lengthy brain-numbing, soul crushing rehabilitation period, he hadn’t skated since January but is apparently cleared to return to life. There’s always something. And the snag that occurs with him signing a contract is the questionability of Mitchell’s health and ability to remain healthy. *A huge factor that could be a deal breaker for Doug Wilson (Sharks GM), or lead to a significant “price reduction” for Mitchell’s services. Factors that no one really likes to consider but serve to remind us of the fragility of our heroes, and the general unfairness of being mortal and human.

As a Willie fan, I intend to keep the faith; I’m rooting for the guy. I would love to see him come around and make some magic in Teal down here in the Sun-Belt. Besides, if the medical cannabis (go prop 215) isn’t enough for a “concussion sufferer with chronic symptoms” (hockey injury, I swear doc), there really is nothing like day after day of sunshine to heal the soul, and the tan line shortage.

                                                                            Rock out.

(photos- myself, Puck Daddy, myself)

BLOKES

Heritage Classic, World Cup of Quiddage, whatever you call it, a second outdoor NHL game two months after the first this season earns itself the moniker "Winter Classic Jr" as far as I'm concerned. I don't completely understand the double-dragon marketing idea here, and all Team Gryffindor jokes aside, I Totes McGotes need to get me one of those throwback Calgary Flames jerseys. I've always been a sucker for the rugby-stripe hockey sweaters, and just about anything the Flames do. I didn't even hate the fire-breathing-horse third jerseys from a couple years back (though ALL girls love horses, it's true, even if they pretend they don't). I don't necessarily see the dirty marketing ploy of the "third jersey" concept, I see it as a way for teams to get creative with another sweater, a third jersey is a blank canvas and it's always at least interesting to see what kind of gem/monstrosity comes of it. For such a masculine sport, hockey fans sure care about what threads are on the backs of our athletes.

Looking forward to the Winter Classic and Winter Classic Jr (slightly more interested in the latter to be honest), almost as much as I look forward to the promotional jerseys, and almost as much as I look forward the next Harry Potter installment (dork). Oh and for those of you to whom actor Robert Pattinson will always be Cedric Diggory and not the faggy vampire from the Twilight movies, I salute you.


(photo courtesy of NHL.com)

A KNUCKLE DUSTER MADE OF GOLD

Guys like Derek Boogaard are game changers. And not by a pair of dropped gloves during a single match. The game of hockey itself.

He is one of the offbeat few that shock us/anger us/delight us/whatever us with their antics; they force us to feel something new about the game, and maybe look at things a little differently. Their first instincts are rarely the correct ones, but always the most memorable. These players bring us closer to the humanity of hockey through their humility. In a world of mundane statistics, and anonymous uniform of suit, tie, and black eye, it’s refreshing when a player can find his way in the game by (mostly) sheer wit, and not talent. Such players have been known to inspire “No obscene distracting of the goaltender” (in so many words) amendments to the NHL rulebook, move GMs to shell out offensive amounts of cap space dollars for a simple character guy, and even drag this disenfranchised hockey writer out of hiatus.

These players exist outside the game of hockey. While I fucking love Anze Kopitar and I think he’s a fantastic hockey player, I don’t know anything about him, I certainly don’t feel anything about him, I don’t know what he does or who he is outside of hockey (though there is a certain type of fan devoted to finding out this exact kind of thing). The casual fan might not know who Anze is, any non hockey fan will not know who he is, but mom and pop back home are watching Derek Boogaard discuss his Fight Camp on Fox News Channel and reading about Sean Avery in Newsweek, watching Alex Ovechkin on MTV Cribs. People on the outside- people not associated with the game in any way- know these personas; they associate the game of hockey, the NHL, with these players. In a way these characters do their part to define the game as it is today, alongside the finesse and genuine god-given-talents of guys like Sidney Crosby, not necessarily to us who are familiar with it, but those who are not. What harmony our beloved game works in when you think about it.

So you could see, at least in the smallest sense, why these types of players would be perhaps as desirable to an NHL organization as a 30 G a season, slick skating power forward. We don’t understand it because no matter what, if you love the game, you look at it from a fan perspective. And we hate it because it reveals that our professional athletes are –gasp- performers.

No matter what anyone says, the truth is: character is EVERYTHING.

I read a quote on this thing called Twitter from a newly hired AHL GM; he said that the organization was “looking forward to building a winning and entertaining team”. It struck me as a little misinformed in the instant, but then I thought ‘this is really the aim of all clubs, isn’t it?’ To build both a successful, skillful team, and an exciting experience for fans. As much as we as fans hate the idea of having something we love sold to us rather than actually feeling it for ourselves, the NHL is in the business of entertainment. Clubs want to market the team well, and ultimately sell the game. Naturally a big-name team like the New York Rangers has a need for players who are skilled and players who are relevant to the game.

I don’t know much about the New York Rangers but I do know they must feel this way. Perhaps it has always been part of the NYR aesthetic to house “lifestyle” or “situational” players (Laraque, Avery, to name a couple recent examples), some might claim they even created the concept in the game. Perhaps Glen Sather (NYR GM/Pres) is trying to rebuild “a dynasty” or something cliché and marketable like that, and wants Boogaard as his cornerstone goon. We wonder what would really make a GM place that much money and good faith (or not) on a player who is not only statistically and fiscally not worth it, but also a liability. What we are all too afraid to think is that maybe Boogaard isn’t there to play; he is there to just be, man. That 6.5 million dollars looks like a frivolous, idiotic, unnecessary extravagance of deal to us not in the business of selling the game, but the NY Rangers are sending a message that is lost among dollar signs and stats sheets: Derek Boogaard is relevant, this team is relevant, and we are serious about our relevance. Likewise That 6.5 million dollars didn’t just buy Derek Boogaard four years as a Blueshirt (and probably a nice Rover); it bought him a lifetime (or career-long) tag as a high-end goon, one of the toughest guys in the league, despite the outcome of this situation. And what both sides get out of the deal is essentially priceless.

From the outside, it seems to be an almost sarcastic price to pay for a fan favorite, regardless of how many Boogaard jerseys or name/numbers tees (two O’s, two A’s) fly off the shelves. Everybody loves a tough guy, and MSG has seen its fair share of blood spilled at the knuckles of some of the greatest. Derek Boogaard is an old schoolish tough guy that has seemed to fine tune and adapt his skill set and character to launch an unusually successful career in the modern game. Derek Boogaard’s job directly is to play a game, more specifically to enforce, throw fists where and when it counts, show up and go through the same motions as his peers- and indirectly to sell the game. And who ever decided that one’s net worth was directly related to one-ice minutes, or offensive production? The NHL does not pay hourly, or on a per goal basis, so all $-per-ice-time arguments should be obsolete. From the NYR standpoint, Derek Boogaard does his job, and he does it well.

In a larger sense, the signing has celebritized Boogaard to an even higher status, making him more worth the money the more people fuss about it. Paradoxically, by “overpaying” for Boogaard, the NY Rangers may actually have made him worth it, regardless of how the next four years go. Is it just promoting violent behavior in the sport? I say nay. Is buying, not building, character wrong? Maybe. But if clubs can use moderately valuable cap space to bring a little character to a team, I will never see the problem. Of course, these incidents like Boogaard’s are rare and often isolated; as strange as it sounds, image is something that is earned, Derek Boogaard didn’t become a covetable tough guy overnight just by being declared as one. Derek Boogaard “seduced” the system. By simply being his gritty, goony self, he made himself desirable to a team that is looking for exactly that kind of image. Of course, you can probably sell any piece of shit for $6.5 million dollars and people will think it comes in a solid gold toilet bowl. In that metaphor, Derek Boogaard is the piece of shit, and his career is the solid gold toilet bowl.

It's always a good ending if you can use "piece of shit", eh?
Peace + love.

HELLO, HELLO AGAIN

We meet again, hockey fans. I’ve been on quite the blog-hiatus (if anyone reading this is saying “what blog?” you might as well stop reading now, skip to the next entry, and we’ll start fresh, cool?). Partly because I am on the tail end of a two-year binge of irresponsibility, and possibly the most fun I’ve ever had. And partly, less partly than the former, I’ve been working on a personal project of sorts, one that hopefully doesn’t attract all the connotations and clichés that come along with “writing a novel” (okay, maybe some of the clichés, let’s be real). I’ve been meaning to get back to you for a while actually. Who knows what really made me decide to actually put it into action, but I blame Derek Boogaard. 1300 + aimless words about this goofy son of a bitch (how about that? No censorship) and the recently infamous ‘Boogaard contract’ (I don’t even need to say the number because it is blaring in your head right now) had me realizing that I actually spend a lot of time during the day occupying my mind with things like this. Things like hockey.

By the way, I defended the Boogaard contract…. I know, right?

Truth be told, I’m hungry for this type of outlet; to be able to communicate with people all over about the game we all love. But that is only half of it. I’m only half an attention whore because my good buddy Fraser Matthews will be collabo-ing with me on all things hockey (not all things, just the things we care about). Fraser resides and works the nine-to-five grind in the hockey Mecca of Toronto, and I live and day dream out in the hockey-not-so-Mecca of Los Angeles- you’re starting to get why this is cute, eh? Matthews is perhaps the perfect constant contributor for me mostly because he is everything I’m not (a Rob Lowe look alike), he knows things I don’t know (he’s Canadian and you can’t argue with bloodlines), and he always has something good to say when we talk hockey (or when we talk whatever); always my favorite source of entertaining information. So this is our outlet, a collective of thoughts, coast-to-coast musings from a couple of real hockey fans. What we have to say is never more or less important than anything anyone else has to say- maybe (hopefully) just a little different, like Derek Boogaard, and we can appreciate that.


It’s good to be back, people. Looking forward to raising a glass, raising a Cup, and raising a little hell with you all this season.


Peace and love, hockey fans.